Home and busy - sorry for no post

Yesterday at 2:30 the doctor came into my room and said that my biopsy results came back at 1-2%, totally OK and acceptable and I could go home immediately. Now we live 3 hours away and had no rent a car, but that did not stop us from getting out of there immediately. I called Super Shuttle, a van service and they said they could be there at 3:45, I then booked us the 5:45 flight from Tampa to Ft Lauderdale. Doctors gave orders, prescriptions, took the needle out of my port and we threw it all in our suitcases and left. We got to airport and it was delayed half hour, so we had a quick bite at Chili's. On the plane I wore my mask to prevent germs from getting me sick. My counts still were not totally recovered so I was sent home on few antibiotics for a week and I will be heading to Dr. Aliff my local oncologist Friday for blood counts, and see him 2-3 days a week. Our friend Chris picked us up and we were home by 8 p.m. and totally surprised the kids, there was lots of jumping up and down and giggling, we had a great night together and there are no words to describe being home with them and just being Mommy again, good thing is they don't miss a beat and put you right to work!

Today was busy but I feel pretty good so we were able to have a nice breakfast, play, showers, and then the big kids went to Chuck E Cheese with Amber and Olivia and Steven and I went to grocery and ran a few errands. We all came home and we took a nap and then had a great dinner, it felt so good to cook and have a great home cooked meal together, and then we went for a nice walk around lake we have in our neighborhood. That did me in, I was exhausted, but pushed ahead, both Livy and I were ready for bed and tired, but we made it home and it is nice to relax in cool air conditioning.

Things are back to normal right away and that feels good, this is why this is the first chance I had to get on computer since we got here, we have not even had a chance to unpack yet! We are taking this week to just be together as a family.

My tentative appt at Moffit is June 30th, I have to have labs, another biopsy and an scheduled to be admitted for my consolidation chemo for 5 days. If all goes well, I will be home after 5 days and then do my transfusions, etc that take place once counts fall at home locally with my oncologist. Since the kids are not in school yet, we are planning on all going for the 5 days, no reason to leave them behind if we do not need to. We will also have a meeting with entire transplant team to find out how all that works. They took my blood on Monday and are starting the donor search, it can take awhile, but it also could be quick, so no idea when that will be. Consolidation chemo's are required every 6-8 weeks to keep me in remission and healthy till transplant.

Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes - they worked and I am healthy again and home being Mommy - right where I need to be. I am not sure if I will get to update each day, but will try my hardest.

Good night!

So close, but just not there....

Today was that day when you are so close to something you can taste it and imagine it and yet you are just not there. My numbers doubled, neutrophils went from 120 to 270, need to be at 500 to go home, everyone even doctors seem to think that will be tomorrow. I am having my biopsy tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. and will have results of my blood early in the a.m., if they are there where they need to be, I will be released to go home. I am so anxious, I am more than ready. Tomorrow is day 26 in hospital, and day 27 away from home. One month is more than enough. We have not told the kids anything, we are planning on surprising them when we get there, I can think of nothing better to do, since we have not given them a time frame when we would be home. So "shh" if you would be around them or see them tomorrow or next day if counts were not where they were.

My counts will be high enough, in fact much healthier than when I came in here, I will be able to do what I like when I feel up to it. I know realistically I will be fatigued, chemo is hard on the body and feeling good around a hospital is totally different than feeling good being Mommy, but I have lots of help and the kids are occupied during the day so I can get some good rests in. We are more than ready to go home and lead somewhat of a normal life with our family.

When we go home, we are not going home to our house. I don't think I even had a chance to mention it yet, but a month or a little more before we found out I relapsed we found out we had mold in our house. We moved our bed to clean back there and found a baseboard that did not look right. Steven called insurance and they came out, we had black mold, the bad dreaded one. From there and having a company come in and air and sample test, we found out we had it in several places. Our playroom and office the back walls had moisture on tests and on air quality tests, plus our dining room under the window showed moisture. Our master bathroom the shower had leaked over a year ago and we stopped using it till we could get it fixed, so when they came out for other stuff I told them about it, sure enough mold had grown on wall behind shower in our closet. The kids bathroom started leaking from using shower so much and sure enough you guess it, there too. So insurance got us a company to clean it and we were set to fix it all, if you are going to do it, do it all at once and we were told we had to move out anyways during cleaning. When we found this out, we asked our friends across the street if we could stay in the extra house that they have, and rent it from them and they said yes, so when we found out we were going to Tampa and the kids were staying, knowing work was coming up, we moved them and all our personal stuff and toys, etc. and spent a few days well.

The mold was all removed last week and the walls in all those rooms were ripped out down to the studs, and cleaned of mold. Monday the company comes back in to test walls and air to make sure there is no mold in the house. We have a company coming out to fix outside walls and stucco to make sure it does not leak again. We have a crack on our back wall and the other rooms and t he decorative bricks on the house water was leaking into them and the walls in dining room and ends of house, so they are off and house will be repainted outside. Once air quality comes back clear, we have a construction company coming in and putting up new drywall, plastering and sanding and then finally we will need someone to clean every inch of the house, the dust will be a disaster. Rooms are blocked off and sealed but all that sanding in 6 rooms, oh how I am glad I can not see it, I do not like construction at all or seeing my house a disaster. So when we are ready to move back in, it will all be new, my bathrooms will be remodeled in the process and it will all be clean, that is a way to move back in. We are very grateful to have a wonderful place to stay, where we can watch work and kids are comfortable, I am not sure they will ever want to go back home, they are content where they are. You definitely realize how much STUFF in your home you do not need, I see a good cleaning out coming in our future!

Please pray for easy bone marrow biopsy tomorrow, I will be awake with local because I did not want to wait for sedation on Wednesday, I have done it many times before, but this is my first time with a new doctor, etc. and pray for neutrophils to be over 500 and I am home eating dinner with my sweeties tomorrow. Your prayers have worked and brought us through a difficult first leg of the journey - thank you!

Sleepy Sunday

Today and yesterday since Steven has gotten back we have been resting and napping, which feels so good. It is wonderful to have him back with me, it was getting lonely here without anyone. Since I have been here and all this started back on the first day of off test results at my doctor I have just not been able to rest, my body wants to and does, but the mind, it keeps going and going even when you don't want it to. I seem to be able to rest now and was able to take a short nap yesterday and one already today. Steven has been going non stop and hopefully can relax and catch up on sleep a bit before we get home. Once we get home, the rest stops when you become Mommy and Daddy full time again and work for Steven, so we are catching up some today and having a sleepy Sunday.

Blood counts are still up today, WBC jumped to .97 and my neutrophils went from 70 to 120, neutrophils need to get to 500, and they jump quick, so tomorrow could bring that magic number or next day. I can feel my body working, when you make marrow and cells, your hip and pelvic area and down your legs hurts, I started getting uncomfortable yesterday and I remembered that from my first induction when I told doctor my back was hurting and he said it was a good hurt, doc today said same thing, so I can take something if it becomes really uncomfortable, but I love knowing my body is gearing up and getting healthy in there.

Christian, Sofia and Olivia spent the day with friends yesterday and were exhausted at the end of the day. They went swimming and played hard for most of the day, they got home around 7:30 and Olivia went to sleep immediately, she did not get her nap and she is a napper and an early to bed girl. She got to play with her friend Justin who is turning two very soon, and Olivia can be quite bossy with him, little Justin loves her and listens to her, they are quite a pair, and I love she has a buddy her age to play with. Christian and Sofia played with Amber and Reese and Alex, and they all get along so well, what a pleasure to know they are having a great time for us, my only regret is that Steven and I are not there hanging out too with friends and our kids. Here are a few photos:

Alex and Christian with Lego they built, both are Legomaniacs!

Livy playing with Staci

Amber and Reese - sweet cousins


Yummy lunch after swimming


I love these action photos. Reese jumping in

Alex taking his turn

Christian - I love his expression in this photo

Amber in the deep end

They had good time soaking with the pails and Christian got Nina good

Olivia and Justin in the little house their size

Thank you very much to the Swab and Aron's for spending a wonderful day with our children and being so great with them, they had a great time. Love you guys.

Sunny Saturday

Today is finally a sunny day in Tampa, seems like it has been a few days since I saw the sun out the window. Everything remains stable here, my white blood count went up to .86 from .51 yesterday and my neutrophils which they now measure are at 70. Still have not gotten a straight answer what they need to be, but I know when I was first diagnosed they were at 52, so that is a great sign, and that they are back at all after chemo is a great sign. Red blood moved up a bit and platelets too, no transfusions, I doubt I will need anymore now, counts are way to high for them. I was taking two mouth rinse medicines a few times in day still even though my mouth is healed and went down to yesterday. So nothing new to report today.

Here are a few photos I snapped of my new room I moved too, it really is beautiful for a hospital, and I thought the old one was nice too.

Bulletin board with dates

My little card area with cards I got

Part of bathroom

Recliner and table where I do all my stuff

Love seat that has pull out bed for Steven and gues and window which lets in alot of light

My bulletin board in front of my bed with photos of my family, hanging off are the cranes we made in art program. Still need to post the story of why they are important.

View from door when you come in

So now you can see where I have been last few days and will be when I return for transplant.Hope everyone has a great day!

High Counts and Cute Photos Friday

Friday started out a good morning. I always get my blood taken by 4 a.m. so they can have the results when doctors do rounds at 7:30 a.m. The early a.m. is hard because you are sound asleep and they come in and wake you, with my port they don't wake me to take the blood or hook up and disconnect antibiotics, they just do it and you sleep through it. They wake you because they need to weight you. In old room in the middle of good sleep you have to get up and get weighed in hallway with bright lights. Normally I go back to sleep, but in this new room the scale is in bed, so I had get up and then lay back down but this new nurse I never had turned on the light, talk about blinding, and was chatty. No chatting at 4 a.m. is ok. They don't know how to use the scales and needed light. So as a result when I tried to get back to my good sleep I couldn't, so I rested till 7:30 and got up, I think I will need a nap today.

Good news - nurse brought in my lab report and my counts soared from yesterday.

Yesterday White blood cells o.36 or 360
Today White blood cells 0.51 or 500
They hit that magic 500 they want to see, now they start measuring today the ANC, or specific types of white blood white cells. My neutrophils, the infection fighting white blood cells. When they hit 1000 I can go home, as long as biopsy results are still OK. When cell.s start rising on their own, they soar and quick, so tomorrow they can double again. I will know my ANC's later today.

Yesterday's Red blood cells 3.99
Today red blood cells 4.21

Yesterday platelets 15
Today's platelets 28
Platlets is the blood for clotting

These are great rises and no transfusions are needed. Most likely I am done with them unless they go down for some reason, from here on out numbers are expected to go up and up. I am thrilled with this, my body is recovering from chemo and making healthy cells, most important those white infection covering cells, and it is doing it on its own without help from shots they give to boost WBC. They wont give me the shots and that is OK, they cause quick regrowth and could spure Leukemia cells esp when I still had 5% blasts there on last test, so I would not to take my chances anyways. Doctor scheduled biopsy for Wednesday originally because Monday is full. I said what about Tuesday, he said you would be awake with something to relax you and not asleep and I asked him to change it to Tuesday. I don't want to wait a day just to be asleep. I did it 4 times awake and 3 were with nothing to relax me. The last time in June at home I took something, and did ok, so I think I can handle it, especially if it means results a day earlier.


As for the cute photos part of today, here are some photos from the kids visit, not to many and not my best, the lighting in a hospital and perpetual motion of the kids makes for not clear photos but still fun to share and I love seeing them. This blog is all parts of my life, good, treatment details and family stories and details. They really are more interesting than my Leukemia issues and way cuter, for sure they will bring a smile :)

Working on art projects

Sofia's birthday morning ~ getting a gift from Mommy and Daddy

Playing around in the room one day

Olivia so proud of her Cinderella pullups

Playing with sweatshirts and hoods, Christian would rather play legos than get his photo taken

If you have to be here, this is how it should be

I moved my room, I am now in 4west - the bone marrow unit. It is brand new, the room is large with so much more storage, etc, but feels more like a hotel room. So this was a good move for the rest of time I am here and it is to have a sneak peek to see where I will be for transplant. A big difference also is when I am on this part of my wing, I do not have to wear a mask outside of my room, like if I walk around the wing, need to go out and ask a question or go to kitchen area, the whole wing is specially air filtered and rooms are too to be safer for transplant patients. When I leave the big double doors I do have to wear it as normal. I am so impressed with the hospital as a whole, it really is a wonderful place to be when you need it. I will take some photos of the new room too if I can get them to download then I can post them. I posted my new room and phone number on the side bar.

Counts are steady today, no transfusions again, I will have another biopsy between Monday and
Wednesday of next week. I did get a good nights sleep and went to bed 2 hours earlier than I been, got up early and showered. I am keeping myself busy while Steven is away with some paperwork I need to do, my computer, etc and the day is going by quick. I took my first venture around by myself to gift shop to get some stamps and just walk around, I will go back out later and walk more, although I have to say I miss my walking partner and will be happy when he is back. Mouth sores are gone, mid line is my arm is gone and insulin checking and shots stopped two days ago. So it is good that medicines and things are stopping instead of remaining. I am still on antibotics both pill and iv a few times a day, and other antifungals, etc but not like before, it is tappering down. I am allergic to the adhesive in the bandages they use to cover my port, today they changed the needle and made up a bandage with gauze and papertape to give my skin a chance to calm down, the tape causes redness and blisters, so hopefully this new type they made will be better and allow my skin a break.

Everyone is doing well at home, the kids were happy to be back and acted like they were away forever when they saw Christina, their friend next door. Olivia went back to "kool" as she calls it, with her bathing suit on and her usual smile for water day. She absolutely loves her tot-time class and can't wait to go, which makes us feel so good about her being there each day, only thing don't mess with her lunchbox, it is been her security blanket since she went, she must be in charge of it, carry it, and everyone at school knows this too. It is hysterical, she is so funny at this age, her personality is just blooming. Christian and Sofia were happy Amber was back and they were off to Boomers for an afternoon of playing and fun.

The plane service I was talking about in my post last night is actually three companies, one is Angel Care and there are two others. Pilots give of their time and plane to fly patients, but it is a prop type plane, that always makes me nervous, but I am sure that after all of this, that too will be normal to us. I have to call and register myself with them and it is based on available flights and when you are going, etc. so not always available, but a wonderful service for companies to provide that I am thankful for. I am sharing some photos I took from my phone while the kids were here, blurry mostly but still cute to me.

Olivia playing blocks at open art program

Playing musical instruments in art room

The girls on a walk around main part of hospital

Amber and Sofia playing with my phone making muscle faces

And peace signs

In the cafeteria for dinner and making orange faces

Thank you for the comments, I can not comment back and if I leave a comment, unless you have a google account it will not go back to you, there are many of you who leave comments each post and I read it and want hit reply and chat back but it does not let me do it, so I will have to email you! I enjoy reading them.

Staying the same is always good...

I just spoke with the doctor and with additional testing / staining of my marrow and advanced slides I stayed at 5% - woo hoo. No jump, I am so pleased with this. They still can not say for certain whether this round of chemo achieved remission till closer to day 30 or when my counts recover(day 19 now) and they do bone marrow biopsy. So for now we wait, and get better. Today I needed no transfusions, first day since my count plummeted, tomorrow can definitely be different, I am just hoping that the bell curve they talk about is on the upswing part and I see count recovery and clean marrow next test. That will mean if it is clean and under the five percent I go home, over etc we will talk about more chemo right away or if it can wait a month,, two weeks, etc. I just want to go home for a break. When I do go home either way, I will be coming back here for a visit anywhere from once a week to every two, etc. They have three private agencies that we need to register with that fly on their private plane free of charge from Boca Raton Airport to Tampa, so that cuts the expense of flying and driving, or we drive the 3 hours. Steven and I know that is part of the deal, but to be for the day and be home at nighttime is great. I will be under the care of my local doctor when home with orders from here on what is needed, etc. I will be home till donor is found and it is time for transplant, most likely it will be months, I like that.

Thank you for the continued prayers, they are working and this is really good news. This experience is teaching all of us a lot of patience and faith.

My babies are home and ready for bed, Daddy too, he is exhausted, I am heading there too early tonight.

Photos and The Kids Trip

Today is a hard day, my family headed home around noon and just got home now. Steven's Grandmother really needed his Mom there due to health reasons she has, so we made the decision that today was the day, we knew they could not stay for a very long time, but the 5 days we had together were a lot of fun and very well spent together days. Everyone needed the time together and today Daddy drove them home to get them all settled back in. He will be coming back sometime before end of weekend. I am doing so well medically this is the right time. There is never a right time for the heart, and I have been together 18 years and not spent a night apart, tonight will be first. We are OK with that, we are in that situation where it has become time and I feel great about him being with them, they need at least one of us to get situated and back into routine. Daddy will return and they will go back to doing what they were before till I get home, which at most hopefully will be a few more weeks. They can visit again too, 3 hour drive is still close. Our sleepover went well and Olivia did great, what a feeling in a hospital of all places to wake up with your entire family here. They had breakfast and showered before they left, it was nice to be a part of all that. Saying goodbye or hello after an absence is so hard, this goodbye was harder than last but I know I will see them very soon.

Here are some some photos that Chris and Nina took the day the kids got here

The next day they went to Science Museum and had some fun

Wind tunnel - I love this photo

I have some photos I took while they were here I am going to work on downloading, but I did not take a lot like I usually would, my attention was more focused on spending time with them. I have heard nothing more about the slide today, still hoping doctor comes in they say they come late till 8 or 9 pm. For now I am just relaxing and going to get a good nights sleep hopefully, missing everyone at home much.

Good news, but still waiting

Sorry to make everyone wait and I know everyone is anxious, we have had a very full day today, and we are having a sleepover again tonight with kids- this time Livy included, not sure how much sleep anyone is going to get, everyone is in pajamas and laying down calm so that is a good start.



The results are in - sort of. In order to say chemo worked they want under 5% cells in your biopsy. Mine came back smack dab at 5, one person counted 5 and one 6. It is very scientific and techniclal. This is good news, I had 80% start, it means it worked and is still in there working, but did it work well enough, that part is not known. We are right there, they did extra staining of slides and I was supposed to know today did it stay, rise, etc. They said now they did another, so it is just to close to call. They dont joke around about any of it. So we got great news with i wt coming down, but are in the wait and see phase. Leukemia is just tricky and very involved, it is hard to say was it to soon to do it, they did day 12, you do it day 12-14. Today we were told if slides jumped up to 9 or more or so, they would most likley recommend more chemo, called a 2nd induction. They did not but are doing more, to me that is good, did not jump, just can not tell them either way. I am ok with that.



Even if it was under five percent, they would being doctors not say remission until your counts recovered, I always just understood that they would, that is the tricky part again, see how many there are. I am trying to break it down from scientifc to tell you, not sure how I did.



So we wait, for that slide and then for my counts to recover more, and do another biopsy, when cells grow back

Quick Update Monday

1. Results are not in, late tomorrow expected.

2. Sofia had a good birthday

3. Hair the s all gone, I cut remaining little off today, it is a relief not to see it falling out anymore.

Everyone here is overtired and exhausted so we are making an early night of it all around, we all need some much needed sleep and start fresh tomorrrow.

Will update when we know more tomorrow evening is when I been told to expect results of my biopsy.

Sunny Sunday!

We had a really good day today. The kids did so well last night, our adventure included a midnight hike with all of us to the basement vending machine for snacks, we heard alot of I'm sooooo hungry" when we were trying to go to sleep. We did eat early and we had forgotten their snacks at hotel, so all four of us and the IV pole too went and got some chips. After that they fell fast asleep and slept till 8:30! They had breakfast here and then went to get Francine and Olivia. We hung out today and ate lunch at cafeteria, we said a quick goodbye to the Swab's as they went home this afternoon, then they went shopping with Daddy for some things, and they were treated to a new Lego set for Christian and Sofia and a Mrs. Potato Head for Olivia and some nail supplies for Sofia and I to paint nails tomorrow. We shared dinner again here, we were practically only ones there with holiday weekend this place is beyond quite. I need to walk around a few times a day and tonight we ventured outside, the kids had a lot of energy to burn and I did not walk all day, so we went outside and they have a beautiful sanctuary garden and fountain, so they got to play outside. They have a big hill and stairs that go to top floor of building, and they ran and ran and had fun, throwing pennies and making wishes. It is hot here, different hot than home, so they were ready to go inside and we were too, so we headed inside for a drink and rest.

It felt good to be outside again! There are no restrictions, I am allowed to be free around the facility, I have to wear the paper mask to prevent myself from catching anything, I can even drag the IV pole if I want to. I don't like that though, so I wait till I am unhooked. So we had a good time outside and the kids made amazing wishes. You know you are supposed to keep them secret, say it in your head, Sofia said it out loud and Christian too, let me just say we must be doing something right, they said the right thing, and throw a little wish for a pony in there too and everything is good.

Health wise for me, I am doing well as they want to see, complications are minimum, and I am feeling pretty good. I had a platelet transfusion today and some potassium, but got taken off IV liquid since I am eating and drinking again. I get antibotics a few times a day IV, mostly one in the am and then through the night for the fever I had. My mouth is better, I swallow this liquid medicine that heals it like 6 times a day and I can eat, I even at a chip today! My stomach pains are gone. Don't get me wrong, I am exhausted and worn down, but still feeling good if that makes sense. The kids even let me do what I normally do and clean up after them, amazing how toys and drinks accumulate quick with three little ones. It feels good to do something normal, being with them makes it feel like home. My white blood cells went up a little bit today from .23 to .40, but hey- they went up and they did it by themselves when they should, and although a very, very, tiny number, and I know they fluctuate, I will take it. It means my body is done tearing down to rock bottom after chemo and now will start up swing to get blood counts back to healthy.

This is a great place and I feel so good about our decision to come here, and no other small hospital is so amazing about visitor policy, the kids asked to spend the night again and we said OK, it will be nice to wake up with my birthday girl. Sofia turns 5 tomorrow, I wrapped her present and hid it for her in the am. We will celebrate tomorrow by painting nails, playing, Daddy taking her to pick out a birthday cake and ordering dinner in and celebrating with her. Plus from 1-3 they have open art where you paint and do crafts for patients and families, and she wants to do that, she has seen all the art work around and want to know when can she do it, she loves painting.

You would think we were at home with activity level, but when they head head home at end of week, we will have two tired parents, really Daddy more exhausted than Mommy doing all the work and a fun week with them and good family memories - got to make'em where you can - even if they are at a hospital, Hopefully it should only be a week or two at most before we follow and are out of here, and then we can all be together at home sounds good to me!

If you make it to the end of these long updates your are good, I get long winded when I write. Alot of people can't read the blog because it is hard to read, but please dont be sad, and know in a bad situation, there are so many good things that are happening I could not name them. Love, family, friends, support, more awareness to be a blood and bone marrow donor are just a few. God shows us in strange ways doesn't he sometimes, but my attitude is real and I do believe all will be well at the end of this long process, there is no reason to believe any different, so many people have transplants each year, I love to hear when they say so and so had one x many years ago and they are ok, I know that will be me to. For immediate future we are traveling a hard tiring road, but the long run we will be any other family, only really, really more aware of how lucky we are each and every day.

My friend Nina who was here said it was good to see me in the hospital, I look like me, just here getting treatments, Natalie asked me what I wear or if I go out in the wheel chair, all valid questions, to which I answer I never wear the hopsital gown, not a fan of that, only once since I got here for my biopsy did I wear that, I wear relaxed MY own clothes and shoes, and I walk outside, etc. only a wheelchair when they wish you away for tests, etc. hospital policy, otherwise they want you up and mobile, walking and using your muscles, or they go weak. Now feeling good at home vs a hospital are two totally different stories, I know when I get home how fatigued I will be, but I will be resting alot!

I am waiting for my three sleepover guests to get here - goodnight!!

Happy July 4th

Although we did not celebrate in the usual way here, today was a really good day. I had a red blood transfusion that went smooth, while I did that Steven, Francine, Nina and Chris went to the Mosley Science Museum for a few hours. Then my family tracked to a Whole Foods store and came back to the hospital to spend some time with me. They ate lunch and hung out in my room and then we had a late dinner in the family room, where they have tables. Nina and Chris ended up visiting and the kids ran around and had a good time playing, amazing how they can play anywhere with anything. The only normal thing is me sitting there with my IV pole, which I was on fluids so I had to drag with me. But despite the medical things going on, it makes it feel more normal to have them here. Steven is tired, he has to do alot of running now and I know he loves having them here, but he has been going non stop, never complaining though, I am not sure how I got so lucky to get him.

Steven is taking his Mom and Olivia to the hotel for the night and the kids are having a sleepover in my room. It is allowed, as long as there is another adult besides myself, and they are quite. They wont be back to after 10, so it is pretty much lights out when they get here, we are hoping after a full day they will watch a movie and konk out till a.m., despite the many awakenings that go one with me all night. It was the one thing they wanted to do and since it is allowed, I was happy to say yes, hopefully Olivia wont feel to left out.

Monday is a big day here - it is Sofia's 5th birthday. We will celebrate with some presents and a treat, and once we get home we told her we would have a small party, she said she was OK with that, such a great girl and simple to please. Hopefully fingers crossed the biopsy results come in and are the way that we are praying for, and lastly I will be shaving my head. My hair is falling out rapidly and if the in house salon they have were open today I would have had them do it, to me it is awful to see it coming out, so I am hoping they will be able to do it when they open back up and I am ready to just move on. We knew it would happen, it is and I am ready just not to have hair everywhere. Yes it does bother me, but now that it is a reality once again, I have that just get rid of it attitude, and move on. I am ready for bandannas and scarfs or what ever is cool for summer. No you will not see me walk around with nothing or bald, that I am not comfortable with, but I am OK with the cover ups. We talked to the kids about it and let them know ahead of time about it again, I am sorry it has to fall on her birthday though, hopefully she wont remember that, she wont see it, but she will remember spending the day with her family and being happy.

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July and had a lot of fun! Good night, I am off to rest before my crew gets back.